What is your dirty little secret?

Talk about voyeurism in the extreme. Check out this sight that gives you insight into strangers' inner most thoughts and feelings.

PostSecret

This is a guy who recieves postcards in the mail on which people have written their deepest, darkest (sometimes funniest) secrets giving him permision to post them on the internet for all to see.

If you've seen The All-American Reject's music video for their song "Dirty Little Secret" then you've already seen some:

"I don't think my fiance is THE ONE."
"I feel like a failure everytime I eat."
"I only love 2 of my children."
"I pee in the sink."

I encourage you to check out the video, which you can do easily here. And definitely look at the site. Currently it has a Father's Day theme and I don't see a way of looking at older postcards so I for one am going to RSS it so I don't miss out on even one postcard displaying somebody's inner self....who knows, it could be yours.

Rejection Sucks

About two weeks ago I had a second phone interview with X Private College they never called be back.

First, the interview was scheduled to take 30-45 minutes, but I only took 18-20. Second, I was insanely nervous. I could hear the shaking in my voice and though we were on speaker phone I am sure they could too. I had notes with me, but didn't really use them. I feel that I lacked examples to back up my answers. Not that I don't have them, just that I forgot to talk about them. My current boss says that me asking about their time table to call references was a bad move too...although all my references had been asking me when they were going to be called, and since the interviewers never gave me an indication I thought it was a fair question. My boss says no.

When I hadn't heard from them a colleague convinced me to call and ask about my status. Frankly, I already knew what my status was. There is no way that my phone was on the first during that crucial 2 minute period that they would have been calling to let me know that they wanted an in person interview, there was no way that they had been pushed so far off schedule as to have let a whole week go past the date they gave me, a nd there was no way that I had just fallen through the cracks. They just didn't want to see me. But in order to get the absolute final word on that, I called. She shuffled through papers, probably trying to find my resume, or her notes from the interview and then confirmed that yes, they were in the process of the in person interviews and a lack of a call, letter, or email meant that I had not been selected. Why she made me wait on the phone to tell me that, why she needed a piece of paper to let her know that I don't know.

And then I asked the dreaded question "Do you mind me asking, what was it that took me out of the running?" Wow. One simple question that is really saying..."so why didn't you like me?" or "what exactly is wrong with me that you don't want to hire/interview me?" "Just what were you looking for that I lack?" It's a flash back to every break up I've ever been through: the old "what's wrong with me? why don't you want me?" trap. Only this isn't my fragile emotions on the line, it's my livelihood. A job. A career opportunity. A chance at benefits with health insurance. Full time work and the opportunity to get my own freaking apartment for once in my life! *sigh*

According to this particular administrator at X Private College Library they even had trouble choosing people for the second round of phone interviews, but for the in person they had to choose who they felt were the "most qualified," Great. So apparently I am not qualified for an entry level position at an academic library and it is quite possible that I would not have even made it to the second round of telephone interviews except for the whole "difficult choice" bit. Wow. What a low blow.

So now I am back to square one with searching job postings, cover letter writing, and resume revising.

Nothing just about it.

As I was passing the reference desk yesterday one of our grad assistants was fending off a solicitor who had stopped in to hand out Anti-DaVinci-Code materials. If I had been behind the desk I would have handed the stuff back and politely said "You can't solicit in here. You have to be twenty feet from the building to do that." But then I hate solicitors of any kind, even the ones I agree with.

But she had a great way of handling it. She simply looked him in the eye and said "Why do people bother getting upset about this stuff. It's fiction. That means it's not real." The guy had no response and spent the rest of the afternoon handing out his flyers in the courtyard. Besides that don't they realize that they're actually drumming up more business for Dan Brown?

I won't spend much time on the Da Vinci Code I haven't seen the movie. I won't until it's at a second run $1 theater. Not because I have a problem with its "message" or its god-awful casting, but because I thought it was a poorly written book. I can't even figure out (other than the cash) why somebody would claim this shit was plagiarized. Read Angels and Demons, Brown's first book with this character. The plot is identical with a few incidental changes: Same protagonist with the secret society, the led-by-the-nose henchman, the oh-my-gosh-I-can't-believe-it-was-him-all-along villain, the predictable love story, and of course the how-can-you-believe-that-and-call-yourself-christian subtext. The only difference was that Angles and Demons, was actually exciting. It was fast paced and interesting. The Da Vinci Code, not so much.

But...the real point of this post... don't under estimate the power of fiction. The great things about books is that they can change lives. Will reading the Da Vinci Code make someone believe in Dan Brown's theory about Christ, Mary Magdalene and the real meaning of the Holy Grail? Probably not, but it might get people to think about the possibility. It might get people to re-evaluate the Bible, how it's changed and how the canonical books of the Bible are chosen. It might get people to consider the roles of women in organized religion and lead them to make decisions on whether or not they're happy with those roles. But it can't make any one suddenly believe.

The scary part is, though, that thinking is enough.

With out going into too much detail...the movie the Matrix got me to thinking about free will and the christian theory of being created to have free will, the existence of evil and the devil. I concluded that following the christian mythology... humanity needs the devil in order to exercise free will. Sounds fairly obvious, but the religion I had grown up with believes that the devil will eventually cease to exist and humanity will flourish in a peaceful and perfect state. Now...compare that to the creation mythology that includes free will...doesn't add up does it? I came to the conclusion that religion I had grown up with couldn't possibly be true. And yeah, that screws me up because now I don't think any religion is true. Now...did watching this movie make me reject my religion? No. The movie just made me think a little more logically about my own beliefs. I'm sure that there are believers out there who can reason around those two statements so that they can co-exist or for whom the Matrix was nothing, but a fun action filled sci-fi adventure (which it is to me too actually).

But still, it's all just fiction right?

The dreaded phone interview

I graduated just about 2 weeks ago with a Master of Library and Information Science degree. Now it's time to find a full time library position. Last Friday I sent out my cover letter and resume to a private college in my area that was looking for a full time reference librarian. Tuesday I heard back from them wanting to schedule a phone interview. Today I had that interview.

First of all I thought I was calling to schedule one, but instead was actually interviewed. Luckily I was prepared.

I spent a great deal of time yesterday perusing their website learning about the college and the library there so when I was asked "What do you know about X college and why do you want to work here?" I had something figured out. At the same though I had nothing concrete written down. I was did not want to sound rehearsed or like I was reading a script.

My fellow recent graduates had been lobbing questions at me for the past two days when I was least expecting them to give me an idea of what I might get asked. Thank goodness they did because some of those questions were remarkably similar to the ones I was asked on the phone.

Like "What type of office environment and colleagues do you work best with?"; "What would you like to accomplish in this position?"; and "Why are you the best candidate?" were not far off from the sample questions my colleagues had given me to help me prepare.

The one great disadvantage with phone interviews is the lack of non-verbal cues. You have no way of knowing what reaction your response is generating in the interviewer(s). It seems like there is the yawning void you are talking into. Luckily my interview was friendly and she gave me feedback before, after and during my answers so I really felt like I was conversing with someone rather than having my words lost in that black hole of the telephone receiver.

I won't know for another week if they'll want to interview me in round 2, but I am so happy to finally have this experience over with. I know what to expect next time and best of all I know that my cover letter and resume can generate results. If this particular college doesn't want me I know it's just a matter of time before I am off the "part-time Librarian" status.

What you've all been waiting for!

This is currently the best picture of my tattoo that I have. I took it myself in the mirror with my camera phone (I photoshopped my fingers out of the picture because it looked like I was holding a phantom phone).

Until I get someone else to take one for me this is as good as it gets.

Edited:July 8, 2006: I had to chnge the picture of my tattoo. What is here is atually the henna inspiration. Apparently where I had the picture hosted shutdown, or it closed my account, or something. So rather than photoshop a new picture, this is what you get fo now.

Empowerment is a wonderful feeling.

I work at a reference desk. It's essentially a customer service job and I deal with many kinds of people. I get the unappreciated, the very gracious and thankful, those who want me to do all their work for them, and the proactive kind. My very least favorite are the ones who think they know me, or who want to get to "know" me. There are the ones who ask for my number, who want to give me their number, who call me baby girl, sweetheart, princess, or darling. Those are bad, but the very worst I think are the patrons who think they can make whatever inappropriate comments they want about my appearance, my clothes, my hair, my glasses or lack there of, even the way I talk.

Well I finally stood up against it today.

Someone wanted a book and in the midst of me finding it he kept making comments like "You've lost even more weight than I have" paired with "My family thinks I've lost too much weight."

First of all, I do not know this person. Maybe I've helped him in the past, but I see so many patrons a day it is hard to say. Second, I am sick of these back-handed "compliments" about my weight loss. Yeah, I got healthier in the last few months it was my New Year's Resolution, weight-loss was the side effect. But calling me a "skinny heifer" (that's a cow in case you didn't know) or saying that I'm disappearing are not nice ways of telling me that you've noticed a difference. (And yes, those are both real comments I have gotten.)

But...the story at hand: I ignored the comments and stayed on topic about where to find this book, after the third or fourth time he asked "Why are you being so administrative all of a sudden? Last semester you were so nice and friendly."

At which point I had had enough. I looked him in the eye and said point blank...

I'm always friendly.
But I'm not going to discuss my weight with you.
It's none of your business.

Wow...I feel so much better.

Who wants a relaxing vacation? Not me.

I just spent my spring break week in Utah, and (the library trip aside) it was possibly the most painful vacation I have ever had.

First off, I couldn't be in Utah during the winter with out going skiing. So through a friend, my brother, his girlfriend (who grew up in Park City), and myself got free lift tickets to the Canyons (a resort). I don't really ski. I went maybe three times as a teenager when I would get to the top of the bunny slope barrel straight down as fast as I could and fall because I didn't know any other way to stop. And let me say that skiing in Utah is nothing like skiing in Michigan. Apparently in a desert even the snow is dry; they call it "powder." I've never been skiing in it before and I did horribly. Three runs on the novice run did not prepare me for the next level, because as soon as we hit the next one I was on my ass…a lot. I kept getting stuck in the powder, which you're actually supposed to ski through. Now, granted powder is pretty soft and if you land right it doesn't hurt when you fall. Too bad I can't land correctly. The upside to all this falling: I got really good at pulling myself up. In fact, I don't think I've ever had a better work out for my arms. I swear they were sore for two days after that.

Second, I made my brother take me to his tattoo artist. If you're ever in Salt Lake City and want a tattoo go to Big Deluxe Tattoo they are the best everyone I know in Utah went there (and I actually know a good number of people there). I have had a picture of this particular tattoo for almost 2 years I just wanted to be very careful about where I went to get it done. My brother has gorgeous tattoos on his arms so I felt comfortable going to his guy. I'm sure everyone knows someone with a tattoo who says "Oh it didn't hurt at all. It just felt a little uncomfortable." They were lying. To themselves, to you, to whom ever, but it's a boldface lie made to make them seem all tough and to convince you that it's no big deal, because it hurts. It hurts like hell. It felt like some one was stabbing, cutting, burning, and generally flaying the skin off my back, only worse because besides the cutting and stabbing there is also the blood—the lots and lots of blood running down my back and staining my shirt (and later my brother's car). Luckily it only took 45minutes. I didn't ask for a break in an effort to finish faster, but I also never felt that adrenaline rush that you supposedly get and which makes people jones for more than one tattoo. So don't bother asking me what I'll have done next, because the answer is nothing. From now on I stick to Henna, that stuff looks great and is pain free.